Survive Winter “Witching” Hour

Chickadees and rosy cheeks! Winter offers us so much beauty, yet the cabin fever can make that toughest hour of day with toddlers more challenging. Here you’ll find a simple plan and fresh ideas for surviving and thriving through winter at home with small children.

get through the toughest hour of the day with your toddler

Many parents call it “the witching hour,” that dreaded time of day when our little ones are usually feeling their worst and Momma is bordering on going bonkers.  Is it worse for you in the winter months too?  Today we are arming ourselves with some great go-to ideas on keeping your cool during those rough hours.

one of those days

I Started writing this post after one of these intense afternoons.  When I couldn’t get a hold of my husband, I called a trusted friend in tears and said, ”Honestly, I am losing it! I don’t know what to do.” After some comforting empathy, (cheers to having friends who are also therapists!), she suggested, ”well at this point, there’s always Chick-fil-A.”  Brilliant!  We don’t eat out much and that option did not even occur to me.  

Piling my daughters and myself in our little Honda Fit, I opted for the drive through experience, (what pleasant people at CFA!) and parked in front of our home for an early dinnertime, car-seat style.  As emotions were calming, I thought about how hard it is to problem-solve when we are overwhelmed.

A little bit later that evening, obviously still having some strong feelings about the matter, I typed out this reflection for some catharsis…

a cathartic reflection

It’s 5:30PM and the kids are losing it. I am more losing it. My HSP body has reached its max of stimulation for the day and now the whining and sibling aggression and random messes and the fact that the crockpot meal hasn’t cooked fully yet is all just putting me over the edge. 

 I HATE this place [of overwhelm]. I so earnestly want to be gentle and patient but I in actuality cannot, truly cannot answer another question or think of another snack or entertainment option to hold them over. Feeling mad that work is keeping him late again.  Then I think of all the mothers who don’t have someone coming home soon and am grateful for a second (ok, a half second because I’m still fuming) that my husband doesn’t travel often, etc. (annoyed eye roll)

Mostly, however, I’m frustrated that I’m depleted and overwhelmed again at this point in the day. How I really really really don’t want to be in this desperate holding place, just waiting for my relief pitcher. He is going to be tired too when he gets here, who wants to come home to this cloud of negativity?

My mind briefly flashes to an image of relaxed wifely me in a pretty apron, children waiting calmly (CALMLY DANGIT) at the table with just-the-right-level-of-warm food.  I showered earlier (yes!) and am wearing something besides exercise clothes. All the dishes are already washed because I don’t want them looming after bedtime routine… it would just be quite nice to have them out of the way so we could sit together for two seconds before we ourselves need to get some sleep.  Oh, if only the ironing was done too, all the clean laundry put away, children’s clothes and bags ready for the next morning.  A candle lit even! [end daydreaming]

Many days I really am ok with meeting less than those ridiculous expectations (are they that ridiculous, though? Maybe they’d be realistic one day?). I can be proud of my effort or just smile that there is dinner made… or that I just stopped running around doing so.many.things. and got down and readthe girls a book… and we end up having PB&J… OR that I did push through doing the last load of laundry and got them all folded.  

In this season of small children, though, every few weeks an overwhelming evening like this hits me without warning.I need some serious reserves or new ammo. I’m resolving right now to put together a “HEY, YOU CAN DO THIS” list for when the fight/flight/freeze response occurs within. No longer will I pine away at the slow minutes passing until that long-awaited text rings “leaving soon” or “omw” and at last the front door clicks relief of “DADDY’S HOME!”  I won’t be stewing with bitterness and ridiculous defensiveness that “I’m left to do it all alone again.”  

I’ll have a game plan.  

the time is now

I’m relieved to finally be gathering good ideas to equip us to approach this time of day confidently. Below I’m sharing my current collection with you in case they could help you in your hard hours.

Get a PDF version and our free list of winter activities HERE. We’ll also include blank templates so you can easily make a plan for your family’s “witching hour.”

our winter game plan

STAGE 1: PREVENTION

Do everything you can in the first place to to stay far from your breaking point

Complete evening preparations BEFORE afternoon rest time (for me, that is supper started, laundry in process, clothes and bags ready for tomorrow)

• TIP:a slow cooker is your best friend, make a crock-pot meal during lunchtime if you can
• TIP:when kids change out of school clothes, get tomorrow’s clean set ready for the morning
• TIP:clean out backpacks and lunchboxes right away

Establish a rest-time for everyone in your daily rhythm

• TIP: make sure YOU rest during rest time too (spiritual reading, a cup of tea, bath or shower, catnap, do something craftsy)
• TIP:do your resting self-care AS SOON AS family rest-time begins. If you just start to run around trying to get home care tasks done, or waste time scrolling instagram right away, your chance to “inhale” will be gone before you know it (inevitably a baby will wake and a toddler will need help in the bathroom, etc.)
• TIP:use earplugs to dull noises and to help restore your body to calm before the storm

Be prepared to be present

• TIP: as rest time comes to a close, put personal projects on hold, finish that podcast, resolve to be “all there”
• TIP: give yourself a pep talk or say a prayer before “releasing” the children from their rooms
• TIP: turn your phone on airplane mode and put it in a cabinet out-of-sight

STAGE 2: PLAN SOME GOOD FUN

Intentionally make it the norm to do simple, light-hearted activities to turn the toughest time of day to the favorite

Have a fun snack together

• TIP:Keep a list of fun snacks to reference when making your shopping list
• TIP:  Involve children as much as possible in the kitchen preparation.  They LOVE it. (I hope to do some posts on Montessori kitchen work at home!)
• TIP:Remember that non-desirable snacks make your three-year-old angry (see first tip in this section, ha!)

Go outside, go outside, GO OUTSIDE

• TIP: have clothing/gear for all kinds of weather, and have it accessible
• TIP:have a list of nearby nature spots so you can pick one quickly and go
• TIP:keep a nature table in the home where the children can observe little  collected artifacts and recall your adventures together

Choose sensory and/or gross motor activities 

• TIP: choose activities that will help your kiddos release energy and then sooth their bodies
• TIP: have a list of (mental or written) of your children’s favorite games (i.e. hopscotch, Simon says) as well as some new games to try
• TIP: have ideas for indoor play handy, when outdoors is not a possibility (get our free list here)

STAGE 3: JUST HANG IN THERE

When the anxiety starts rising, start thinking outside of the box so you can make it a little longer

Change up your routine

TIP:  do dinner early.  Sometimes everyone is simply hungry-angry and it helps to get a good meal in the bellies. We can sit down again when Daddy arrives and have fruit or dessert while he eats dinner.

TIP: take a quick trip for a change of scenery.  Go to the grocery and let the girls choose a random addition to dinner.  Go to the library and read a book to them in a different space.  Go to the chapel and whisper prayers and songs together.  

TIP: curb your “woe is me” thinking and go visit a neighbor.  Get out of yourself.  Ask them to tell you about their day or bring some of the girls’ latest coloring creations to give as a gift.

Have a back-up bin

• TIP: Thrift stores and Dollar Tree are your best friends for little books and toys.  Have a basket of random things that are sure to delight (i.e. silly puddy or a lizard that grows in water, etc.)
• TIP:Keep a few books aside from your recent library haul for moments when a new story would be an attention-grabber
• TIP: have a little stash of arts and crafts supplies like washable markers, scissors and glue, popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners, etc. and let them create

Facetime storytime

• TIP: Send grandparents or aunties funny books or have them pick up a few from a thrift store so they can have material for impromptu storytime.  
• TIP: If no books are handy, ask them to tell their own story.  Sometimes just a new smiling face with fresh energy and love for them helps everyone take a deep breath and step out of a cranky cloud.
• TIP: if no family or friends are available, let your little ones look at pictures and watch videos of themselves and loved ones

STAGE 4: GET HELP NOW

You’re officially overwhelmed, need to accept the emotions and reach out for support

Call a friend 

• TIP: call someone on speaker to help you stay calm and choose kind(er) words toward the girls
• TIP: vent or cry out the feelings and ask for a word of encouragement 
• TIP:ask a neighbor to give you a 15-20 minute break and go for a little walk

Put on a movie

• TIP: put on a happy show or movie for the girls, and then go do some deep breathing or progressive relaxation near the essential oil diffuser
• TIP: set a timer and speed clean something (my sister’s recommendation)
• TIP: listen to a relaxing playlist or uplifting podcast while the little ones are interested in the movie

Go for a drive

• TIP: again, change of scenery does wonders… announce you are going on an adventure together and explore a section of the town or city you’ve never visited
• TIP: scrap dinner plans and go to a local drive through, put on the radio!
• TIP: grab some munchies from home or a nearby gas station and go through its carwash

making it your own

Sign up HERE to get your Surviving and Thriving Through Winter bundle

• lists of go-to winter indoor and outdoor activities
• list of toddler winter snack ideas
• templates to make a game plan for your family
• PDF copy of our family’s game plan for reference

Finally, please share any of your go-to tips below!

With Sisterly Love, Serra Ann