A Need for a System
Every season since having children, I have enjoyed revisiting how we spend our days and weeks in our home.
When I first learned about creating “rhythms” in the home, I was totally fascinated and read lots of blogs dedicated to the topic, as well as the book “A Mother’s Rule of Life” by Holly Pierlot. Beginning to learn the skill that I now like to call “flexible structure” was just what I needed as a still-new-stay-at-home-mother.
On top of caring for our daughter’s needs, I had all these hopes for prayer life, caring for the home, nurturing my marriage, investing time in friendships, as well as figuring out how in the world I could take care of my own health and pursue my own interests too. I was completely overwhelmed.
We had just moved to a new state as well, and I was spending a lot of time helping my husband completely gut and rebuild a parochial school. Drowning in all the big life changes, I needed to set my feet on some solid ground. I thought, “I really need some routine and structure.”
A Rule of Life
Holly Pierlot’ s description for a rule of life: “a traditional Christian tool for ordering one’s vocation. Found most often in religious community life, a Rule can also be used by lay people — whose state in life is no less a calling from God. It consists primarily in the examination one’s vocation and the duties it entails, and the development of a schedule for fulfilling these responsibilities in a consistent and orderly way.”
As I began to read A Mother’s Rule, I realized I already knew a lot about rhythmic living. Most of us learn in high school and college how to keep a schedule and manage all the time in the week for classes, coursework, part-time jobs, exercise, small groups, hang-out time, etc. I also had some wonderful opportunities retreating at a monastery and discerning religious life with a couple groups of sisters, experiences that had taught me the beauty and freedom of living life according to a basic schedule of prayer and work. One that is consistent each day and week.
“A Mother’s Rule” helped me identify what I was being called to include in my days according to the priorities of Prayer, Person, Partner, Parent, Provider. This method was a good fit for me.
Rhythms in the Home
I came across some other very beautiful and peaceful mom blogs that encouraged creating rhythms for family life. Some of my favorite takeaways that have stayed with me:
- Alternate inhales and exhales throughout your day. “Inhales” for me are restful, nourishing times of the day when I can feel restored and strengthened (like prayer, eating a meal, having a cup of tea, reading, taking a walk) whereas “exhales” are the energy-consuming activities where I am giving or serving or working or going somewhere (cleaning, errands, work, a toddler activity, for example).
- Assign certain days of the week particular themes or activities. Little ones especially love this. They can look forward to going to the library every Monday, visiting the farmer’s market on Tuesdays, doing an art project on Wednesdays, or gardening on Thursdays. The sense of tradition is quite special. If you do this with other things like home care, it’s wonderfully freeing to not feel like everything has to be done at once… if dusting is done on Fridays, then when you see a dusty shelf on Thursday you can go right back to what you were doing without worry, knowing that it will get done tomorrow!
- Celebrate the changing of seasons. Marking the beginning of new seasons and living them out in special ways brings a beautiful cyclical movement to the years. Decorating the home according to seasons creates a fresh and festive homey feel. You can plan out a trip to the apple orchard in Fall, make hot cocoa a go-to in the Winter, plant a garden in the Spring and see fireworks in the Summer. Many Mommas are so good at this naturally. I’ve seen that when I make an extra effort in fostering an appreciation for the current season, our whole family lights up in wonder.
In Real Life
Though I have my current Rule of Life sitting in a frame on the corner of my kitchen counter, (and I’m writing this post telling you that making such a schedule has been life-changing), there are “survival seasons” when I honestly just let it all go. First (couple) trimesters of difficult pregnancies, newborn postpartum life, massive changes like moves or job switches, for example. I have found that in trying times like these, sometimes I just need to take things day by day and hour by hour.
If I notice significant stress or guilt associated with staying in rhythm, it’s better for me to take a pause or cut it down to the bare minimum (i.e. pray, eat, feed your kids, sleep). On the other hand, after years of using a rule, I trust myself to know when things are getting too flexible and I need to bring in more structure again. I see it as a life-long tool for healthy intentional living that guides both me and our whole family through our days.
Free Personal Rule of Life Bundle
With summer break approaching soon, I will be revisiting my personal rule of life along with our family rhythms. I’m getting these pretty worksheets and templates out that I made earlier this year, and am happy to share them with you if you’re interested. I can send you my 10-page bundle that includes:
- worksheet helping you identify this season’s daily essentials according to Holly Pierlot’s 5 Ps (Prayer, Person, Partner, Parent, Provider)
- worksheet helping you determine time frames for your essentials (i.e. when am I going to wake up, spend time in prayer, drop-off or pick up children, care for the home, work, etc.)
- cute sun and moon cards where you can write out your morning and evening routines
- worksheets for listing your weekly, monthly and seasonally essentials (both earthly and liturgical seasons)
- worksheet to determine each of your children’s essentials to factor into the family schedule
- homecare charts (both blank and example of my weekly homecare routine)
- chart of yearly occurrences (like birthdays and anniversaries or favorite holidays) to consider when planning
Sign up HERE to get my free Personal Rule of Life Bundle and other great resources.
You can get a copy of A Mother’s Rule of Life book HERE on amazon.com.
*I may earn a small commission for my recommendation links to amazon. At no cost to you, purchasing from my link helps support my work here at tpsm, thank you!
A free digital version is available right now if you have an account with FORMED.ORG
I’d love to hear if you use a personal rule of life. Please comment below and tell us about it!
Happy Placemaking! Love, Serra Ann
Leave a Reply