This is birth story of our son!
It is a positive, natural hospital water birth story using the Hypnobabies childbirth method.
FACING FEAR
After six weeks of holding this sweet baby boy on the other side of my belly, I’m happy to finally share our memories of his beautiful, peaceful birth.
“Peaceful” is a word I honestly doubted I would be able to use to describe any of my childbirth experiences. I hoped, yes! I had read a few positive birth stories, but most I had heard or kept in my mind caused me quite a bit of fear and anxiety. My mind liked to hold on to and perhaps prepare me for all the negative things that could happen.
Even though I had two successful natural births with our daughters, that were amazing and beautiful in their own ways, I struggled most in this third pregnancy finding peace approaching birthing time. Both daughters’ births involved precipitous labors (extremely fast), and we knew that I could expect another fast labor. “Well that’s a good thing, right?” many puzzled people ask. However, rapid labors can be emotionally and physically overwhelming and often even traumatic for the mother. There is also the real concern of the short window of getting to the birthing location. I think this last part caused me the most concern this time… I would constantly wonder throughout the pregnancy how I would practically get my girls into the care of a trusted person and to the hospital in time (and without significantly “freaking out” our daughters). It was a fear I’d constantly bring to prayer and ask for help trusting all would be well, but I never was able to fully let go of it before our son’s birth.
SURRENDER
Surrender would be the theme of welcoming our dear boy into this world.
If you’ve been following from the beginning of this pregnancy, you’ll remember that doctors predicted significant genetic defects and an eventual miscarriage. We experienced serious emotional turmoil during the waiting weeks before ultrasound scans showed a completely healthy baby. The next step in letting go was marching through (very sick) weeks and months of another high risk pregnancy. I have what’s called a dynamic cervix which usually dilates very early in the pregnancy putting the baby at risk of preterm delivery. I obviously have no control over keeping my baby inside and safe until viability, and that can be, in a word, hard!
This deepening of my learning surrender continued through baby boy’s birth and all the way through the present, to be honest. As we neared (and celebrated!) full term, I began having new planning conversations with my midwife. Up until baby was term, our plan was to call an ambulance if I went into labor early. Now we began to really address the fear of needing to get my girls somewhere safe, get to the hospital, and hope Nicholas my husband would make it in time! At 37 weeks I was already dilated 3cm and 80% effaced. I had been having braxton hicks contractions regularly and several days off and on of prodromal labor. Once I had a real scare thinking baby was coming during an evening trip to Aldi. I told him, “not here and not now, baby!”
DECISION MAKING
When we made it to 39 weeks, the concern of getting to the hospital safely in labor was more imminent. My midwife helped me decide that if baby didn’t come on his own over the weekend, I would come in to have my water broken and have baby the Monday morning when I’d be 39 weeks and 2 days.
Although I strongly preferred not to do anything to induce labor (personally feeling uncomfortable choosing baby’s birthing time instead of allowing it to start naturally), I immediately felt a lot of peace agreeing to the midwife’s suggestion. This way I could have our girls settled with a trusted friend, calmly drive to the hospital with Nicholas (not in intensely painful transition in the car like I did with our girls), and start birthing time in a place of more peace and readiness. I had to wrestle with the fact that there isn’t always a perfect, or right or wrong decision (a reality I’ve had to come to terms with so often in motherhood!). I needed to weigh and compare the risks and benefits of inducing or waiting. Then I just needed to trust my instincts as well as my extremely trustworthy midwife.
GO TIME
Monday, November 25th rolled around, and super early in the morning we were all ready. My mother, “Grannie,” had flown in last minute to help us and take pictures at the birth. All our bags were ready. My close friend across the lake made a feast for breakfast and was prepared to take the girls for the day. It was surreal that we were calmly, not in panic, heading towards having our baby!
I called the hospital as I was instructed and the nurse sympathetically informed me that we would have to wait to see if they’d have room to take us, as their birthing rooms were currently full. There would be a good chance they could take me in a few hours, so we went ahead with our plans, took the girls to our friend’s home. Then Nicholas, Grannie and I went to wait for the nurse’s call at the Target by the hospital. We looked around for a bit, considered fast-walking laps or doing squats to induce labor, instead got coffee and sat in the rocker chairs in the baby section. It was a strange experience, knowing these were the final hours of having a pregnant belly with my baby within. I’d get waves of nervousness in my stomach, like the feeling I’d get before the start of a race or sports game.
LETTING GO AGAIN
The call finally came and we were told that we were bumped for the day. There was no room for us at the inn! I had a good little cry to release all the emotions and surrender plans again (laughing that this seems to be the lesson I need to keep learning) and we headed home. Since we had free time without children, Nicholas and I went out for a quiet bite to eat. It was a special few hours having burgers, reminiscing and processing our journey to this point together.
Tomorrow we would try to have a baby again!
TO BE CONTINUED….
READ ON HERE IN PART II
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