Hello Dear Friend, 

Today was my final postpartum appointment for our sixth baby.  Kind of the final celebratory “just checking in to make sure everything is still good” with baby and momma, and closing out this pregnancy together.  Can I share some thoughts I jotted down on my phone “notes” app with you?

This occasion is definitely bittersweet. I remember the very first appointment welling up in hot tears seeing the midwife Doran’s sign “be still and know” in the appointment room.  This was the message given to me over and over when going through the all- encompassing grief of losing our son just months before.  My whole person was grappling with him missing and confused that there was a new baby now without him here.  

Those many first appointments I was pretty guarded, not the chipper ecstatic new momma I automatically felt was expected of me.  Or maybe what I expected of myself?  The midwives made space for me in all this, welcomed me and my baby right where we were at.  

Starting with the beauty of the birth cottage, filled with cozy textures, home-like rooms, feminine art and soft seasonal touches, a place was made for us to be and become. A stark stark difference from the sterile, fluorescent light-filled OB clinics I had spent plenty of time in. I am definitely not saying a more medical model of care is a bad choice, as it can be necessary for some, but I am just commenting on a real difference of attention to the human person that does matter. I’ve experienced this difference mattering in managing anxieties, creating safety and cultivating peace that is paramount for a healthy pregnancy and birth.  Crunchy paper exam tables, being rushed in and out, matter-of-fact conversations are different than a plush bed, generous hour-long appointment slots, and a culture of sensitive celebration.  I am profoundly grateful to have been given the gift of the latter.

Midwives make a place for the “how are you, in all the ways.”  In a profoundly personal process, the raw feelings can surface.  I can relax more, look deeper within, know there won’t just be a focus on whether my urine has protein in it or how many pounds I have gained.  These midwifery prenatal appointments aren’t a replacement for therapy, of course, but a caring sister or mother quietly nodding and listening is absolutely a balm for the often-weary soul of a pregnant mother.  

Although this sixth one seemed like a very long pregnancy, the time also flew by, so funny how that is.  Mirroring the serene country drives to the midwifery cottage that took me through all the seasons, it was a winding journey of sorrow and relearning trust. Watching summer turn to autumn and settle into winter toward spring, He gave me renewed hope.  It took me months to integrate the reality of new life inside me. I see now I needed these drives, the regular (mandatory) appointment on the calendar, to have the space to hear some simple yet big truths:  “Hey dear self, you’re pregnant!”  “Hello! This ride is a reminder you’re growing a baby! You really are!”  “Hi, sweet soul, I know you’re in so much pain, but we can receive joy too, sorrow and gladness can hold hands.”  I needed the empty van, the time for worship songs played loud and in solitude. My heart steadily healed and my soul was strengthened over the months, through those tears of grief and cries of surrender.

Besides the solo drives, I’m also aware of how much I needed those midwives, their persons, to receive me, and to offer the accompaniment that midwifery care is designed to give.   

Midwives in my experience are much more than medical personnel who pop on gloves and catch your baby.   The main midwife this time was there for this baby as well as our fourth.  A wonderful midwife in Minnesota walked with me through my tumultuous second and third pregnancies.  The midwife for my first essentially jumped in last second but took charge like a confident mother hen.  Relationship matters, and they are truly sisters and mothers, holding your hand and heart through it all.   Affirming your personhood, communicating you are capable.  I’ll never forget at the end of one of my births, in a moment of panic asking, “get her out!!!” My midwife looked me gently in the eye and said with a calm strength, “I don’t get out babies, you birth your baby.”  What a message for a vulnerable mother, to be told with loving confidence, “you can do this.” 

A side thought– I love that though I’m not coddled at this point as a rookie, I’m also not dismissed as a know-it-all.  Midwives provide reminders that two years of time since the last pregnancy can erase from your conscious thought.  The simple, “hey, remember you need enough protein… and are you staying hydrated?”  and “remember last time how bad the after pains were? Let’s make a plan for this time around.”

After this final appointment, I feel so grateful for the care and am noticing I’m somewhat sad that my monthly “retreat” out alone, bonding time with baby, “just me” care time built in, in a space curated so lovingly for a woman’s heart… is coming to another end.  It’s almost as if we pregnant mothers are in the womb of midwifery for our own gestation.  But alas, birth always always comes!

I’m asking aloud how this kind of womanly support can be continued after life takes off full speed again?  For the technical postpartum period, yes, but also as the months and years continue in motherhood?  I’m convinced now that this ongoing check in, the reminders that I’m a person with my own needs, the recognition that I’m doing hard hard hard work as a wife and mother, affirmation that it’s normal to always have big things to process…it’s all crucial to my wellbeing.  It’s so very good that my family looks to me for nurturing, but how can I be nurtured in an ongoing way?. How can I keep up this important practice?  How can I offer it to other mothers?

More musings on the “how”… every so many weeks postpartum? A ritual? An intentional sharing? A special drink and a snack to celebrate random milestones? A morning just reserved for self care and checking in and processing and girly beauty? How can we seek to continue uplifting and supporting the mother with little meaningful cares like “Do you need a tissue? A protein snack? A bottle of water? A soft, lovely smelling place to sink into and nurse your baby?” A periodic “you are seen – you look great! You are beautiful! Nice color on you! Love that lip color!” “How are things– the good and the hard?”  The “well you’re not alone and there are women who care and are here for you.” And the ever winner, “what do you need now?”

This is the sort of thing my heart wants to provide through the place she made.  Learning together how to create space for the other, and to welcome them in with warmth and love.  

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for being here as always.

Love,

Serra Ann

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2/28/2019

Dear Daughters,

The day after we got married, your father started reading a novel to me, Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry.  He read it aloud as we prepared meals on our honeymoon and as we sat by the fire on some of our camping trips together in the Virginia mountains.

 It was such a gift for me.  This book impacted me profoundly and I know it was providential in setting the trajectory of our married life together.  Now I see that it was also foundational in God’s gently forming this inspiration in me for this project “the place she made”

The theme of “place” in the story deeply resonated with me and it has continued to stay with me the past five years.  

For as long as I can recall, I have had a longing for rootedness, a sense of some permanency and the security and freedom that I presumed that would (could?) come from that…

A longing for permanency

From what I can sense, some of this intense desire comes from the instability that is a part of growing up in divorced families.  There were separate residences, and because there wasn’t just one home, I now realize there was a feeling for me of being sort-of like a guest at both.  As amazing as my mother was at making a house beautiful, and as welcoming and accommodating my father was when staying with him, when a family is separated, it’s not uncommon for a child to experience that separation within somehow.

 Perhaps some of the longing for rootedness for me also is the fact that since college, I’ve lived in 8 places in 7 years… the emotional challenges that come (especially for “highly sensitive people”) with having to adjust so often to a new environment, new community, unpacking and setting up a home in another new setting just to pack it up again a few months later… are very real!

Admittedly as well, maybe some of this longing is from the fact that God created me as a lover of all things “home”… I firmly believe it is the primary place, the physical dwelling of the family, where we are meant to be nurtured and develop and flourish.  I have always had an affinity for homemaking, beautifying, decorating, togetherness, etc.

Since growing more and more in my faith, I’ve learned that this longing inside for home is ultimately the universal desire placed in the human heart to find our Dwelling Place in God… that he created our hearts in love to yearn for Him, our Final and Eternal Home.

The significance of place

It has been very difficult for me at times, especially since having children, to be patient until we get to call a place our own.  Renting and living in an apartment (though I am truly truly grateful for our sweet little spot) makes me feel like I am still in a holding place… again, there is a longing for stronger permanency, stability, security that I belong in a place.  It’s not just the physical home that makes our place, but it is the people, the community, the friendships invested in around that home that we pour ourselves into.

Now I’ve wondered aloud, “’Should’ I even think this way?” All my therapist friends will want to comment at this point, “you should stop should-ing yourself!”. Yet I really have wondered: “well, what about missionaries? ….which I believe we all are meant to be in a sense… they by nature don’t usually have permanency in place, right? And what about the fact that Jesus didn’t have a place to lay his head when he was an adult and in ministry? He did visit home, though, if I remember correctly…”

Your Daddy has replied thoughtfully to my questions. “Place is extremely important, a God-given human need and desire… missionaries have an exceptional call to sacrifice this security.  Most people are called to a certain place.”

Being present

Our place right now is Minnesota, West of the Twin Cities. Never in my life could I have imagined this is where I would be!  But God knew. From before the beginning of time! Lady Lou, God knew you would be born here and forever be a native Minnesotan!  Miss Mae, He knew that you would love the snow as you do and flourish in your Montessori Children’s House!

When I receive God’s plan to be here- right now, with gratitude, my eyes are open to see all the wonders to behold here.  The beauty of the fullness of all the seasons. All the lakes. The kindness in the people and the respect and celebration of families through year-round outdoor festivals and community events.  The gift of the particular friendships He has ordained… we are super abundantly blessed with the other young families he has placed in our lives!

I am still praying that God will sometime soon gift us a home to call our own. Or grace us with some serious energy and grit to work our way there creatively.  I dream of being able to “plant some roots and some apple trees” as our wedding song goes… My mother’s heart wants for you girls “a house on a piece of land” where you can grow, play and commune with God in the delight of nature, a peaceful abode of love where you know you always belong, will always be seen and embraced as the cherished daughters you are.  I pray our future forever home will be a reference point for you girls, a joyful sign of God’s providence and ever-presence through the faithfulness and stability of the bond between your father and me.

I’m looking forward to building and expanding on this theme of place for you here at the place she made. And I’m going to ask your father to give a mini theology lesson for us on the topic when he is able to soon. He is so good at those.

So Much Love,

Momma

P.S. Helpful Tips

I thought I could briefly share some practical ways that I have found to help me embrace where God has me (especially when I have a hard time accepting it for one reason or another):

1. Keep a list of places you want to explore. Pull up google maps and write down parks, coffee shops, churches, hiking trails, libraries, restaurants, etc. that you see nearby. When you meet neighbors, share that you are new here and would love to check out their favorite spots and add those to your list.  Put stars next to your new favorite places, or transfer them to a new pretty list that you can put up and see often… and thank God for creating those places just for you, for knowing you would go there one day and delight in it. I can think of some amazing parks and coffee shops over the years, over all the places I’ve lived, where I knew God had me lovingly in mind!
2. Draw a map of your place. You can draw where your home is and then you can include your church, where you exercise, close friends’ homes, those favorite spots you listed above. Visuals help us see our stories from a different perspective, and they can be a beautiful reminder of the gift of where we are planted.
3. Buy Local Nature Guides. My favorite thing to do, especially if moving to a new state, is to buy the field guide for birds in that area. You can also find similar handbooks for flowers and trees. These help me learn and get excited about the specifics of the place. Example: Birds of Minnesota Field Guide
4. Make it your own, while it is yours. Find a few simple ways to intentionally participate in or make your mark on your home, even if you know it’s temporary. I know some perpetual renters who always paint a room a fun color if given permission. You can plant a tree or you can dive into volunteering somewhere local. Making a place your own can be as simple as getting that cute “Home Sweet Home” front door rug or hanging a wreath.

Embrace Your Place Free Templates

I made some printable templates for you! If you do make your own list or a map, I’d love to see it. Please tag #embracemyplace on instagram if you want to share! Sign up HERE to get access to your free template and other great intentional living resources.

Love, Serra Ann

PIN IT FOR LATER

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Today I am excited to get to chat about “personhood” with a dear dear friend, Helena “Dr.O” Orellana.  We were classmates together during our graduate studies in clinical psychology, where she was a back-row dweller never at a loss for posing deep questions or providing sharp answers.   

Helena has always been full of sincerity and generosity, and has one of the most stunning smiles on earth.  Her laugh is infectious. Helena went on to pursue her doctorate and I’ve loved following her journeys on Instagram with her playful pup, Damsel. It was such a joy to reconnect with this gem.

So here we are!  Welcome, Dr. Orellana!

Case Conceptualization 101

SA: You have a special interest in case conceptualization.  In fact, your doctoral dissertation was devoted to it. Can you help our readers understand what case conceptualization is for a mental health therapist?

Dr.O: It means a couple different things, depending on the overall theory that you ascribe to.  In general, it is the way you understand what’s going on [with a client or a patient] and how to help.

Here is a definition that I love by Tracy Eells (2010): “a hypothesis about the causes, precipitants, and maintaining influences of a person’s psychological, interpersonal, and behavioral problems.”

The last part of a case conceptualization is the treatment or goal… asking, “how do you help the person move away from what’s painful and limiting and impairing functioning towards flourishing, a fuller version of their life?” It’s like a story or a road map– where you’ve been, the bumps you’ve hit in the road, and where you want to go.  

SA: Ideally this is done for every therapy patient or client, or “case.”

Dr. O:  A parallel is the diagnostic process in medicine. You have all these symptoms and you want to know what’s the origin.  Is it an allergy that is causing itchiness, for example? Or is the issue a combination of two things, maybe a vitamin deficiency and an allergy?  That informs the treatment you choose.  But [as the practitioner] you also have to take in other factors, like is the patient allergic to a certain medicine or is there a family history of a poor reaction to something?  

This is kind of what therapists do when they conceptualize. They think about “what is depression and what do the symptoms look like?” and “what is the person’s history and other factors influencing how this reaction is expressing itself?”  Depression for one person can look very different than depression for another. The therapist takes all of this [information] in, then different theories have different ways of prioritizing what to look for and paths that they would walk to help the person heal. Case conceptualization bridges the theory [of the therapist] and the individual person [client].

SA: This is so fascinating to me about therapy. Therapists with different theories could go completely different places with the the same patient, depending on the theory or theories they ascribe to.

Dr. O: Totally! Both in the immediate thing the therapist says to that person, but also in the whole arc of the sessions and treatment.  There are trauma theories, for example, that say healing can happen in twelve weeks. Other modes of therapies would say there is no way you could heal something like trauma that fast.

Understanding the Person

SA: Now tell us about the CCMMP.  What is it, and what is its purpose for Catholic therapists?  

Dr.O:  The CCMMP is the Catholic Christian Meta-Model of the Person.  It is the culmination of a lot of time, thought, and work by the faculty at Divine Mercy University.  It takes the wealth of knowledge we have about the human person, from Catholic theology and philosophy, and uses it to enrich the practice of psychology. This model outlines  “what is the reality of the person?” The word “meta” means that this model can be applied with any other theory. In other words, therapists can use it to infuse the way they conceptualize with any other therapy theory or modality they choose.

SA: So the CCMMP is ALL about “the human person.”  How would you summarize “personhood” for one of your students?

Dr. O: It’s a big one in philosophy! The classic definition from St. Thomas (which he took from Boethius) is, “a person is an individual substance of a rational nature.” The CCMMP’s definition of a person builds on this:

“The human person is an individual substance of a rational (intellectual), volitional (free), relational (interpersonal), sensory-perceptual-cognitive (pre-rational knowledge), emotional, and unified (body-soul) nature; the person is called to flourishing, moral responsibility, and virtue through his or her vowed or non-vowed vocational state, as well as through life work, service, and meaningful leisure; from an explicitly theological perspective (Scripture, Tradition, and Magisterium), human persons are also created in the image of God and made by and for divine and human love, and—although suffering the effects of original, personal, and social sin—are invited to divine redemption in Christ Jesus, sanctification through the Holy Spirit, and beatitude with God the Father. “

My favorite definition of a person, though, is by Von Hildebrand, a Catholic philosopher:

“Every man is a person in that his being is essentially conscious: he is a subject who enters into relations with others, who knows, wills, and loves.  A person is a being who possesses himself, who does not simply exist but who actively achieves his being and has the power to choose freely.”

SA:  I love that… “actively achieves his being.”

Dr.O:  He goes on later to say that “the fullest expression of man’s personhood is found in transcendence.”  A person transcending him or herself is distinctively human.  Animals don’t do this. He is saying that every human being is a person, but you become more fully a person in the way that you engage in your life.

For me this is so helpful as a psychologist because mental health issues and illnesses can really subdue, or wound, or cause us to not be able to live in a fully human way. They block that ability.

Thinking Like a Therapist

SA: Please show us what all this looks like in practice! Perhaps pick one of the core truths about the human person and then share how you could use it for guidance in a therapy session.

Dr.O:  Well this is a dead give-away for what my theory is [that I ascribe to], what I think is important.  I come back to the relational. The reality that people need relationship and that they are formed by relationships.

SA: Quick note to readers… See the CCMMP Part VII. “INTERPERSONALLY RELATIONAL” . Here it is discussed how “Humans are naturally social, with inclinations and needs for family, friendship, life in society, and other interpersonal relationships.”

So you can take someone, for example, who grew up in a challenging home environment.   How they learn about themselves, and how they experience the world and other people, is fundamentally shaped by the early relationships they experienced.  So in a home where there was a neglect of needs, the person might understand themselves as somebody who should be dismissed or doesn’t matter. That’s a very painful belief that can shape the way this person interacts with others.  In therapy, I try to think, “Is this person’s ability to relate wounded? How has it been wounded? And how has the muted expression of their relationality part of what I’m seeing now?”

For someone who is lost in life, who is highly anxious, who doesn’t really trust themselves and is really suffering, I think about how might that have been shaped by early relationships.  Then that shapes how I interact, because therapy is a relationship. It’s one of the most powerful parts of therapy. We can talk about our relationship in a way that creates new patterns.  My focus is on giving them new experience in relationship, one that can be talked about. [I could say], “you know, I noticed after I said that, that you seemed very nervous, and I can see that your leg is bouncing and your eyes are darting around– I’m wondering if you’re feeling anxious right now.” My experience of the relationship is informing the words I use to help [the client] talk through what they’re experiencing.

SA: I’m definitely hearing your preference to Interpersonal Theory and Psychodynamic Theory come through!

Let’s Get Personal

SA: Tell me! How has utilizing the CCMMP affected how you understand your own person?  How has it made a difference in your personal life?

In psychology, more than other sciences at the graduate level, you become so involved. Internal reflection is such a part of your own growth as a therapist and as a person .  It is in a way that an architect or an engineer doesn’t have to [engage with their learning material]. As a therapist, you have to be very aware of yourself in the room, and very mindful of your own flaws and how your wounds might be affecting your relationship [with the client].  It requires at times a painful amount of vulnerability. For me, the model has been there throughout this process of learning about myself and growing as a woman. It has been like a chorus, a refrain. I think clients sometimes can underestimate just how much of a gift they are to their therapist.  Seeing how the model is true in their lives helps me see it is all true for me too.

In Real Life

SA:  How can understanding the concept of personhood and the core truths of the human person enrich the life of the everyday woman?  For instance, a friend or sister who isn’t a therapist doing case conceptualizations, but is intentional in her own personal growth and relationships?

Dr.O:  All of us long to be known in relationship, but also to [be known to] ourselves.  I think that especially as our lives change, like moving from being a single woman to a woman in relationship, to becoming a mother, etc.,   all of these profound changes can lead us to be confused about who we are. Just when we think we’ve figured it out or have a grip on it, suddenly something changes, and we think, “ugh I feel so lost here.”  Lost to ourselves, lost to others. In some ways, this model helps us become more known to ourselves. Not entirely or perfectly, but it expresses those core truths that can be anchors in times of transition or times of feeling lost.  [These truths about who we are] help us stay afloat in choppy waters, and also can give us a sense of the horizon, so we can know where to navigate to.

SA: This can be hard work .  It reminds me of intentionality, a theme I have been exploring a lot lately, and that I hope to explore more at the place she made. I am really fascinated by the process of living with purposeful decision- making based on all these truths [the CCMMP], what we know are good for us. In my own life when I am intentional, it makes such a difference. I am curious how intentionality is a part of your life?

Dr.O.  One thing right now in this new role as teacher and supervisor is allowing my students’ views and own strengths in how they were created to heal, come through.  I really want to help foster that, versus the temptation to tell them “well, just do it this way [with their own clients].” I am trying to hear them and to be intentional with my words, and not to overly emphasize what fits me but might not fit them [as a therapist].

SA:  This reminds me of how I am trying to interact with my daughters. I want to honor that they see the world differently, to take a pause and receive their perspective before impulsively saying, “no, this is how I want to do it.”  That pause sounds like a simple thing, but it’s not easy!

Thanks so much for sharing, Helena.  I just love who you are so much and am sincerely grateful you took this time to be with us.

Dr.O:  This is such a great project!

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“A building is constructed with a series of beams (called joists), or strong boards that support floors and ceilings. If the structural integrity of the joist is compromised, or the load it bears becomes heavier, the joist may weaken. When architects and construction workers use the term, ‘sistering’ describes the process of adding boards to the right and/or left of the original joist to strengthen it.”

My dear friend Tala introduced me to this carpentry concept during a women’s morning of reflection in the beginning of the year.  It was a new image to me of this thing I have been so passionate about for so long- the beauty and necessity of true sisterhood. I knew I wanted to return to this notion of sistering in prayer.  Five months later, the reality of sistering would come back to me on its own.

Heavy Load

May 20th finally came.  Twelve weeks pregnant, six weeks of torturous unknown since the last ultrasound.  See part one of the story for a quick catch up.

Quite a few people would advise me with some variation of, “don’t worry too much, you never know, everything could be fine.  Doctors make mistakes all the time.”

True, and yes, I was holding space for this real possibility, yet the picture painted for us after our first sonogram was that the tissue surrounding the baby’s sac looked abnormal.  Looked like a partial molar pregnancy. Looked abnormally thick which often indicates early miscarriage.

Yes, I was praying for a miracle and hoping with all of me that somehow the next scan would show a completely different picture, but  I was also unwilling to ignore the facts of what the doctors were seeing.  I knew that it is important to live in reality and prepare for what really could be…

I am sick to my stomach on the way to the next appointment, the insanely nervous kind of sick on top of the normal intense pregnancy nausea.  I swap the kids music CD with the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack after dropping off our 3.5 year-old at school and 18-month-old with a generous friend. As the anxiety begins to rise in my chest to my throat, I practice slow, deep breathing while Nicholas quietly drives next to me. I close my eyes and count:

in two..three…four…hold…two…three…four…out…two…three…four… and repeat.  

After several rounds, the tears and inner prayers start streaming, “God, I hope my baby is alive.” “Jesus, this is so so hard, I trust in you.” “Lord, is this child going to even look like a baby?” “Please help me.”  Then back to breathing and staring out the window.

We park and get in the elevator and briskly go down the hall and up the stairs, then we make the familiar turn down to the perinatal clinic.  Lots of memories of uncertainties with our last pregnancy start to appear, but now we here for a whole different story.

She calls out my name and I lay on the chair and I give her a heads up that I’m quite nervous and a very emotional woman.  This sonographer is kind and optimistic and squirts what seems like a half gallon of warm lubrication on my belly. Seconds after the probe touches my stomach, an image of a fetus appears on the screen. I hold my breath and squeeze Nicholas’ hand… I see my moving child.  It looks like a baby, it looks alive. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God!!!

As the appointment goes on it becomes clear the sonographer sees nothing but a normal early pregnancy.  Nicholas is immediately elated. I have all the emotions. A maternal fetal doctor comes in and was empathetic to the difficulty we’d experienced from so many weeks of waiting.  She takes her own look with the sonogram machine and confirms that our child looks perfectly healthy.

One possible explanation given for what was seen on the earlier scans is that perhaps there was a hemorrhage at some point in the uterus which gave the appearance of the abnormal molar-pregnancy-looking-tissue.  Whatever it was, nothing of the sort was present right now. In heaven I wonder if the specifics of the healing will be revealed to us.

Still a bit stunned, we move to a consultation room to discuss my history of early dilation in pregnancy and possible paths forward for treatment for that situation.  I decide to leave those big decisions for later so I can have some time to process what just happened.

Hand in hand, Nicholas and I walk out of the clinic, down the hall, down the stairs, past the volunteer piano player and into a sun-lit hospital hallway.  I stop by a window and cry. With his arms wrapped around me, I cry and cry and cry. Motherhood is the greatest and hardest gift. It is totally profound and excruciating love.

Weakened Joist

As it is with parenting tiny people, there isn’t much time to sit around and process emotions.  We grab Tropical Smoothie, head back to pick up our littlest from our friend’s place, and Nicholas takes us home so he can return to work.  I am exhausted in every.way. and hold zero expectations for the rest of the day. I am not filled with much relief or happiness, really, as might be expected after getting such wonderful news about my child growing within.  I see my husband beaming for joy while I am just tired and weary.

However, as I rest throughout the day, my mind is flooded with reminders and replays of close sister-friends holding me up.  I have powerful images in my mind of board-by-board being sistered into stability:

Elissa calling to check on me often, leaving no pressure to call back, just assurance of her constant prayers, making me a bomb of a personalized self-care plan… nailing in a board.

Amy encouraging me to navigate this storm as I am, giving me permission to let go of the pressure to “suffer well,” always be joyful, and surrender perfectly, also sending me care packages with tea and candles and art supplies…board, board and more boards!

Catie sending me Rachel Hollis’ motivating and upbeat books, initiating facetime check-ins that helped me stay afloat on very heavy days…sistering boards.

Adding More Boards

One by one, I feel their strength in my weakness:

• Sister Brigid accompanying me so tenderly over the phone, as I was feeling so painfully vulnerable in loving my child while facing loss
• Sister Gabriela checking in to tell me they were thinking of and praying for me and my little one
• Nikki and Rhea giving really good and reassuring hugs
• Andrea praying in adoration during our doctor appointment
• Laura watching our girls and going above and beyond with fun outdoor activities with them
• Ann speaking truth– firmly yet compassionately– about the souls of our children, helping me keep an eternal perspective
• Michelle lifting me up in prayer in the middle of the night when she couldn’t sleep
• Marie praying a novena to St.Gianna for us
• Friends and family on text and email support, offering their love and prayers
• My mother and Ashley offering my baby before Our Lady of La Leche at the Shrine in St.Augustine
• Ginger coming to visit for a week, going camping with me, helping a ton with the girls, playing and praying with me
• Tala listening without judgement to all my crabby complaining
• Angela gifting me her Mercy Minutes book that got her through intense trials

As I lay in bed trying to sleep, I see these women stepping alongside me, holding me up by my elbows, wooden beams reinforcing me as I keep stepping forward. They are Jesus and Mary’s hands and feet and heart to me, ensuring survival in great trial.

Happy Launch Day, TPSM… the Feast of the Visitation!

God has blessed me in an abundant way in the experience of receiving and giving sistering.  Through all different stages in my life. My husband Nicholas has pointed out at times how unusual it is to have have such deep bonds with the amount of women I do. And because I am an introvert who tends toward just having a few very close friends rather than many good ones, I am becoming more and more aware that this charism for sisterhood, one of the Visitation of Mary to her cousin Elizabeth, is a special gift from God that is not to be kept to myself.  I know I’m only beginning to understand it. So in whatever little or big way He wants to use this space here at the place she made, I only pray that every single work of love would sister YOU, sisters.

I’m really grateful you’re here, and smile at all the unknown good that is to come.  

Love,  Serra Ann

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