My toes are a bit cold and I notice that the thickness of summer has finally eased. Autumn is here and somehow I’m surprised by its arrival. Part of me just wants to hold tight to the world of green and warmth, yet other parts of me are desperate for fresh air, warm colors and soothing rhythms.

This marks the first week of normal sessions at our Montessori Center, which means we’ve officially been ushered into a steady structure of goings and comings. This time of year feels to me, like that moment when you get into a kayak and finally push off into the water with one big glide and stroke of the oar.

So much happened this summer, as summers tend to hold so much life. I made a list of all the victories yet even this last week was bursting with difficult intensity. My sensitive spirit feels weary this morning as it faces the familiar pulsing overwhelm of piles and unfinished projects and big needs of the ones entrusted to my care.

—

Lord, help me to slow down this morning. I’m setting it all on a sturdy table cloth, carefully folding up each side and tying it together and asking you to hold this bundle for a while. There is the knotty lump of it all, I know you see it, sitting snug at that spot where the bottom of my throat touches the top of my chest. Will you take it? If only for a few hours?

With my bare feet and their cold toes firmly planted in this still-green grass, I ask you to breathe your Spirit of Peace into my lungs. Let today be the morning I remember and cherish the last signs of summer. Help me say goodbye to all that was so very good and all that brought me heartache. Nourish me and make all things new through the surrender that is Fall.

—

As a deeply sensitive person, it’s not uncommon for me to emotionally struggle and yet be quite excited about new seasons. There is nostalgia mixed with the wondering if I made the most of the past weeks and days, hoping so earnestly I’ve given my best while recalling many imperfect moments where things didn’t come anywhere close to the grand ideals I can’t help but set up in my heart.

I’m a dreamer and a striver by nature. While I don’t want to squash such integral part of who I am, I’m also teaching myself better acceptance of what is realistic. I’m trying to fostering more gratitude for both the things that went my way and the things that didn’t. He is present and working in it all.

If you also have a hard time looking back and seeing how things unfolded compared to your expectations, I pray peace for your heart and mind. I hope you may trust in the One who knows and loves you, wills what is best for you, and upholds you right where you are.

May you give Him all your unfulfilled ideas and remember the joyous gifts perfectly given this summer.

I hope you enjoy the accompanying video of my goodbye-and-thank-you to summer.

Happy Autumn to you, dear one.

Love,

Serra Ann

I had fun capturing some of the end-of-summer beauty around our cottage.

On the day of writing this reflection, a close friend sent me this message: “I was thinking about your gorgeous lavender blooms this week- and the reminder that they were shocked and struggling for a while and then blossomed into the most beautiful blooms. so much hope.” I immediately knew it was the best day to say a grateful goodbye to the last of our garden’s summer blooms and make a bouquet for this courageous friend of mine. I held each of you in my heart as well while making it, and sent a wish for your own bundle of beauty to greet you today.

Before you leave, please share your wisdom on navigating transitions into new seasons below

<3 Peace be with you.

The post seasonal shifts and mixed feelings appeared first on the place she made.

“This is amazing.”

“I love it here so much.”

“Can you believe this is our yard? These are our children?”

“Welcome home, babe.”

“Thank you, God.”

There is something about a slow day that makes the space to reflect.

A year ago everything was uncertain.  Like so many, we were facing unemployment.  We also knew it was time to move on from living near the Twin Cities, the cold North.  We didn’t know quite where to turn, where our home would be.  And home means so much to us.

Two girlie girls and a five month-old little guy in our care, the readiness was just as thick as the iced-over lakes to make this next move the one where we could finally plant roots.  We were weary.

Yet nothing was in our control.  Okay, we were in control of our dreaming, of our praying, of our discerning.  We did possess our firm resolve for change.  We could control how we would choose to trust.  The Surrender Prayer was big: “Oh Jesus, I surrender myself to you, take care of everything.”

A string of events later, I’m watching two wooden swings swaying underneath a mature maple, a soft backdrop of blue mountains.  

How entirely meant to be, this place.  For us.

Here is the short version of the complete miracle of this moment:

The end of 2019…

Again, we knew we needed to leave Minnesota.  There was no peace.  A well-loved, but too-small apartment for a growing family, winter lasting so much of the year, the persistent experience of isolation.  But where to?  Our extended family is spread all over the country, so no clear answer there.  We were able to narrow criteria down to: near some family, ability to be outside where we are our happiest, an supportive community in which we could live our faith, and a Catholic Montesssori education.  

Being sure of the last one surprised us, but it was quite helpful, actually.  After spending four years immersed in Catholic Montessori, we were completely sold. Imagining not being able to give that opportunity to our children if we relocated someplace where it was nonexistent, gave us immense unrest.  So I started googling Catholic Montessori schools and making a list.  It was a tiny list.  Out of maybe a dozen possibilities, there were four in Virginia.  The thought of returning to the state where we met, dated, married, and welcomed our first baby, made me so happy.  It was our beginning, our planting.  Some best friends were in driving distance and some family would be much closer too.

Early 2020

Nicholas notified his employer we would most likely move at the end of the summer when our lease was up.  Being a small organization, his absence would leave a large gap and the thought was that some heads up would be considerate.  They responded, though, by just letting him go.  It was a bit of a shock as we still had several months before we could leave our current living arrangement, and it was too short of a time to start and then quit local employment that would provide for a family of five.

 Jesus, please take care of everything.  

Pressing on I booked a flight with the baby to Virginia, stayed with those two dear friends and went to visit two of those Montessori schools.  I got to take a long look around the cute mountain town they are in and felt much joy about one of the schools in particular.  It was a sort of homeschool-hybrid setup on an old farm.  The classrooms were beautiful and the children moved about freely and purposefully. I was starting to envision family life there and it was exciting.

Spring 2020

Job searching.  Nicholas convinced his former employer to let him work a bit longer to buy some time.  That happened for only a brief bit as covid-19 soon hit and they let him go again.  Several weeks of Nicholas working from home while I homeschooled, frozen inside a small-and-feeling-smaller-apartment.  More job searching and applying and networking.  We were aiming searches especially for anything near that Virginia mountain town, but also needed to cast larger nets as most companies were freezing hiring because of the pandemic.  It’s not even easy in “normal” circumstances to find a suitable job in rural country.  Finding out we were ineligible for unemployment was also quite jolting. 

What a season of turbulence.  Physically feeling the lurches our stomachs, trying to just breathe and trust the Pilot.

Nearing Summer 2020

On Nicholas’ first “official” day unemployed, I planned a morning trip for us to the Arboretum, our outdoor refuge.  Coronavirus cautions in full force now, one needed to make reservations to be admitted to the three-mile drive.  As we approached the entrance, I pulled out my phone to find the electronic tickets in my email.  I saw a new email with the subject, “John XXIII opportunity, phone call.”  Quickly scanning the message, I audibly caught my breath.  It was the school, the school in the cute mountain town, we wanted to send our children to.  They were considering finding a new head of school and wondered if Nicholas would be interested in speaking about the position.  They knew his history as a Catholic Montessori principal, remembered my visit and our hopes to move there one day.  I read the email aloud to him and he exhaled.  Shoulders relaxed down a few inches… could this be real?

At this point we already had set plans to move to Virginia.  Our lease was up in a few weeks and we had to go somewhere.  A moving pod was ordered, boxes were being packed and a friend in Richmond offered their basement apartment as a landing pad.  We’d go there and Nicholas would just start knocking on doors to find a job.  Several phone calls and rounds of zoom interviews, however, resulted in an offer from our “dream school” for Nicholas to become their new director.  Catholic Montessori.  Outdoor beauty.  Mild seasons.  Strong diocese.  Driving distance to close friends.  Jesus, you take care of everything!

The rest of 2020

A whirlwind move to the rented schoolhouse.  Starting a new job, getting to know a new community and their needs.  Camping out with small children going through an overwhelming adjustment.  A crawler kiddie in the least-baby-friendly environment.  Looking to buy a first home in a pressure-cooker market.  Offers put in, being out bid.  Offers accepted, horrendous inspections.  Finally, a place in town with a mountain view… not necessarily “the dream home,” but God opened its door, and we know that what lies behind His open doors are far better than anything behind the ones we try to force open.  She is a 1945 cape cod cottage, near the Shenandoah River.  White brick exterior, wood floors and original glam door knobs. Lots of funky-colored walls and needed repairs, but as they like to say nowadays, the bones are good.  The owners before had two huge canines that left behind layers of dog gunk and hair, but also a mostly-fenced in yard perfect for our child-puppies.  You can see different ranges of the Blue Ridge mountains depending on which porch or grassy sit-spot you find yourself.  After a few months of intense cleaning, a terrible bout of covid-19, and a really hard onset of postpartum depression/ anxiety, we had ourselves a livable home in time for setting up the Christmas tree.

2021 so far…

A new sweet baby growing within. We have a little girl coming at the end of the summer. I just completed a time-intensive design project. I’m entirely exhausted but have hung in there.  All the responsibilities at work and home have been at moments very overwhelming for Nicholas, but he too has hung in there.  Our eldest is still really struggling emotionally from the cross-country move.  The pudgy crawler is now a lanky sprinter.  The middle girlie is evolving from a toddler to little girl.  

The stability of a home, the luxury of a yard to explore, is making a difference.   

We are now two weeks away from the end of the school year, and the days seem to be slowing. Thank you, God, for the warmth and length of these days.  We welcome them and ask you to steady us in their sameness.

Around now

The last few years have shown me that I can make all the goals and deadlines in the world for this space here, but life just happens.  The ideas are always bubbling, and the desire to connect with and serve you is ever fierce.  I will need to keep accepting the limitations of the various seasons or life events, and step faithfully into the spaces to create as they come, or as I am realistically able to carve them out.  My sister shared with me once that she read somewhere that some artists just work in bursts.  They are creatives whose lives consist of more dormant times and then energetic springtimes.  I’m thinking I’m probably one of them.

The post New Life, An Update appeared first on the place she made.

2/28/2019

Dear Daughters,

The day after we got married, your father started reading a novel to me, Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry.  He read it aloud as we prepared meals on our honeymoon and as we sat by the fire on some of our camping trips together in the Virginia mountains.

 It was such a gift for me.  This book impacted me profoundly and I know it was providential in setting the trajectory of our married life together.  Now I see that it was also foundational in God’s gently forming this inspiration in me for this project “the place she made”

The theme of “place” in the story deeply resonated with me and it has continued to stay with me the past five years.  

For as long as I can recall, I have had a longing for rootedness, a sense of some permanency and the security and freedom that I presumed that would (could?) come from that…

A longing for permanency

From what I can sense, some of this intense desire comes from the instability that is a part of growing up in divorced families.  There were separate residences, and because there wasn’t just one home, I now realize there was a feeling for me of being sort-of like a guest at both.  As amazing as my mother was at making a house beautiful, and as welcoming and accommodating my father was when staying with him, when a family is separated, it’s not uncommon for a child to experience that separation within somehow.

 Perhaps some of the longing for rootedness for me also is the fact that since college, I’ve lived in 8 places in 7 years… the emotional challenges that come (especially for “highly sensitive people”) with having to adjust so often to a new environment, new community, unpacking and setting up a home in another new setting just to pack it up again a few months later… are very real!

Admittedly as well, maybe some of this longing is from the fact that God created me as a lover of all things “home”… I firmly believe it is the primary place, the physical dwelling of the family, where we are meant to be nurtured and develop and flourish.  I have always had an affinity for homemaking, beautifying, decorating, togetherness, etc.

Since growing more and more in my faith, I’ve learned that this longing inside for home is ultimately the universal desire placed in the human heart to find our Dwelling Place in God… that he created our hearts in love to yearn for Him, our Final and Eternal Home.

The significance of place

It has been very difficult for me at times, especially since having children, to be patient until we get to call a place our own.  Renting and living in an apartment (though I am truly truly grateful for our sweet little spot) makes me feel like I am still in a holding place… again, there is a longing for stronger permanency, stability, security that I belong in a place.  It’s not just the physical home that makes our place, but it is the people, the community, the friendships invested in around that home that we pour ourselves into.

Now I’ve wondered aloud, “’Should’ I even think this way?” All my therapist friends will want to comment at this point, “you should stop should-ing yourself!”. Yet I really have wondered: “well, what about missionaries? ….which I believe we all are meant to be in a sense… they by nature don’t usually have permanency in place, right? And what about the fact that Jesus didn’t have a place to lay his head when he was an adult and in ministry? He did visit home, though, if I remember correctly…”

Your Daddy has replied thoughtfully to my questions. “Place is extremely important, a God-given human need and desire… missionaries have an exceptional call to sacrifice this security.  Most people are called to a certain place.”

Being present

Our place right now is Minnesota, West of the Twin Cities. Never in my life could I have imagined this is where I would be!  But God knew. From before the beginning of time! Lady Lou, God knew you would be born here and forever be a native Minnesotan!  Miss Mae, He knew that you would love the snow as you do and flourish in your Montessori Children’s House!

When I receive God’s plan to be here- right now, with gratitude, my eyes are open to see all the wonders to behold here.  The beauty of the fullness of all the seasons. All the lakes. The kindness in the people and the respect and celebration of families through year-round outdoor festivals and community events.  The gift of the particular friendships He has ordained… we are super abundantly blessed with the other young families he has placed in our lives!

I am still praying that God will sometime soon gift us a home to call our own. Or grace us with some serious energy and grit to work our way there creatively.  I dream of being able to “plant some roots and some apple trees” as our wedding song goes… My mother’s heart wants for you girls “a house on a piece of land” where you can grow, play and commune with God in the delight of nature, a peaceful abode of love where you know you always belong, will always be seen and embraced as the cherished daughters you are.  I pray our future forever home will be a reference point for you girls, a joyful sign of God’s providence and ever-presence through the faithfulness and stability of the bond between your father and me.

I’m looking forward to building and expanding on this theme of place for you here at the place she made. And I’m going to ask your father to give a mini theology lesson for us on the topic when he is able to soon. He is so good at those.

So Much Love,

Momma

P.S. Helpful Tips

I thought I could briefly share some practical ways that I have found to help me embrace where God has me (especially when I have a hard time accepting it for one reason or another):

1. Keep a list of places you want to explore. Pull up google maps and write down parks, coffee shops, churches, hiking trails, libraries, restaurants, etc. that you see nearby. When you meet neighbors, share that you are new here and would love to check out their favorite spots and add those to your list.  Put stars next to your new favorite places, or transfer them to a new pretty list that you can put up and see often… and thank God for creating those places just for you, for knowing you would go there one day and delight in it. I can think of some amazing parks and coffee shops over the years, over all the places I’ve lived, where I knew God had me lovingly in mind!
2. Draw a map of your place. You can draw where your home is and then you can include your church, where you exercise, close friends’ homes, those favorite spots you listed above. Visuals help us see our stories from a different perspective, and they can be a beautiful reminder of the gift of where we are planted.
3. Buy Local Nature Guides. My favorite thing to do, especially if moving to a new state, is to buy the field guide for birds in that area. You can also find similar handbooks for flowers and trees. These help me learn and get excited about the specifics of the place. Example: Birds of Minnesota Field Guide
4. Make it your own, while it is yours. Find a few simple ways to intentionally participate in or make your mark on your home, even if you know it’s temporary. I know some perpetual renters who always paint a room a fun color if given permission. You can plant a tree or you can dive into volunteering somewhere local. Making a place your own can be as simple as getting that cute “Home Sweet Home” front door rug or hanging a wreath.

Embrace Your Place Free Templates

I made some printable templates for you! If you do make your own list or a map, I’d love to see it. Please tag #embracemyplace on instagram if you want to share! Sign up HERE to get access to your free template and other great intentional living resources.

Love, Serra Ann

PIN IT FOR LATER

The post Embracing Place appeared first on the place she made.

A Need for a System

Every season since having children, I have enjoyed revisiting how we  spend our days and weeks in our home.

When I first learned about creating “rhythms” in the home, I was totally fascinated and read lots of blogs dedicated to the topic, as well as the book “A Mother’s Rule of Life” by Holly Pierlot.  Beginning to learn the skill that I now like to call “flexible structure” was just what I needed as a still-new-stay-at-home-mother.

On top of caring for our daughter’s needs, I had all these hopes for prayer life, caring for the home, nurturing my marriage, investing time in friendships, as well as figuring out how in the world I could take care of my own health and pursue my own interests too.  I was completely overwhelmed.

We had just moved to a new state as well, and I was spending a lot of time helping my husband completely gut and rebuild a parochial school.  Drowning in all the big life changes, I needed to set my feet on some solid ground. I thought, “I really need some routine and structure.”  

A Rule of Life

Holly Pierlot’ s description for a rule of life:  “a traditional Christian tool for ordering one’s vocation.  Found most often in religious community life, a Rule can also be used by lay people — whose state in life is no less a calling from God.  It consists primarily in the examination one’s vocation and the duties it entails, and the development of a schedule for fulfilling these responsibilities in a consistent and orderly way.”   

As I began to read A Mother’s Rule, I realized I already knew a lot about rhythmic living.  Most of us learn in high school and college how to keep a schedule and manage all the time in the week for classes, coursework, part-time jobs, exercise, small groups, hang-out time, etc.  I also had some wonderful opportunities retreating at a monastery and discerning religious life with a couple groups of sisters, experiences that had taught me the beauty and freedom of living life according to a basic schedule of prayer and work.  One that is consistent each day and week.

“A Mother’s Rule” helped me identify what I was being called to include in my days according to the priorities of Prayer, Person, Partner, Parent, Provider.  This method was a good fit for me.

Rhythms in the Home

I came across some other very beautiful and peaceful mom blogs that encouraged creating rhythms for family life.  Some of my favorite takeaways that have stayed with me:

1. Alternate inhales and exhales throughout your day.  “Inhales” for me are restful, nourishing times of the day when I can feel restored and strengthened (like prayer, eating a meal, having a cup of tea, reading, taking a walk) whereas “exhales” are the energy-consuming activities where I am giving or serving or working or going somewhere (cleaning, errands, work, a toddler activity, for example).
2. Assign certain days of the week particular themes or activities.  Little ones especially love this.  They can look forward to going to the library every Monday, visiting the farmer’s market on Tuesdays, doing an art project on Wednesdays, or gardening on Thursdays.  The sense of tradition is quite special. If you do this with other things like home care, it’s wonderfully freeing to not feel like everything has to be done at once… if dusting is done on Fridays, then when you see a dusty shelf on Thursday you can go right back to what you were doing without worry, knowing that it will get done tomorrow!
3. Celebrate the changing of seasons. Marking the beginning of new seasons and living them out in special ways brings a beautiful cyclical movement to the years. Decorating the home according to seasons creates a fresh and festive homey feel.  You can plan out a trip to the apple orchard in Fall, make hot cocoa a go-to in the Winter, plant a garden in the Spring and see fireworks in the Summer. Many Mommas are so good at this naturally. I’ve seen that when I make an extra effort in fostering an appreciation for the current season, our whole family lights up in wonder.

In Real Life

Though I have my current Rule of Life sitting in a frame on the corner of my kitchen counter, (and I’m writing this post telling you that making such a schedule has been life-changing), there are “survival seasons” when I honestly just let it all go.  First (couple) trimesters of difficult pregnancies, newborn postpartum life, massive changes like moves or job switches, for example. I have found that in trying times like these, sometimes I just need to take things day by day and hour by hour.

If I notice significant stress or guilt associated with staying in rhythm, it’s better for me to take a pause or cut it down to the bare minimum (i.e. pray, eat, feed your kids, sleep).  On the other hand, after years of using a rule, I trust myself to know when things are getting too flexible and I need to bring in more structure again.  I see it as a life-long tool for healthy intentional living that guides both me and our whole family through our days.

Free Personal Rule of Life Bundle

With summer break approaching soon, I will be revisiting my personal rule of life along with our family rhythms.  I’m getting these pretty worksheets and templates out that I made earlier this year, and am happy to share them with you if you’re interested.  I can send you my 10-page bundle that includes:

• worksheet helping you identify this season’s daily essentials according to Holly Pierlot’s 5 Ps (Prayer, Person, Partner, Parent, Provider)
• worksheet helping you determine time frames for your essentials (i.e. when am I going to wake up, spend time in prayer, drop-off or pick up children, care for the home, work, etc.)
• cute sun and moon cards where you can write out your morning and evening routines
• worksheets for listing your weekly,  monthly and seasonally essentials (both earthly and liturgical seasons)
• worksheet to determine each of your children’s essentials to factor into the family schedule
• homecare charts (both blank and example of my weekly homecare routine)
• chart of yearly occurrences (like birthdays and anniversaries or favorite holidays) to consider when planning

Sign up HERE to get my free Personal Rule of Life Bundle and other great resources.

You can get a copy of A Mother’s Rule of Life book HERE on amazon.com.

*I may earn a small commission for my recommendation links to amazon.  At no cost to you, purchasing from my link helps support my work here at tpsm, thank you!

A free digital version is available right now if you have an account with FORMED.ORG

I’d love to hear if you use a personal rule of life.  Please comment below and tell us about it!

Happy Placemaking! Love, Serra Ann

The post Resources for Making a Personal Rule of Life appeared first on the place she made.

Hello gals!

I’m excited for our first Montessori-themed post.  Winter is just wrapping up here as I write, so setting up our Spring entryway is a welcome reminder that the days of daffodils and rain boots are coming soon!

WHY CREATE A ENTRYWAY FOR A CHILD?

I’d like to start off this how-to with briefly noting why I made an entryway for my dear daughters, who are at this time 3.5 and 1 years old.  Taking a moment to notice when something speaks to me and think about why I am inspired to then incorporate it into our own home, (in my own way!) helps me to live with intentionality.  Identifying the purpose(s) fueling my actions beautifully enriches the experience of these little home projects and brings a deep-seated joy and meaningfulness to our space.  In this case, passing by our entryway and watching the girls use it brings me a smile in knowing that my devoted planning and work in our home is effectively providing a space for their development as persons.  It is so simple yet very profound!

Reasons to design an entryway for children

1. I want my children (and their little friends who visit) to have a strong sense of “you are welcome here.” I can pave the way for this feeling of belonging by providing child-sized furniture, a place for everything, and touches of beauty.

2. Having a place for everything needed to get out the door significantly decreases the inevitable STRESSFUL last-minute searches for necessary items like shoes or backpacks or that matching glove.  Stress is my least favorite thing, and a stressed-out mama bear is definitely not fun for the little ones. Having a place for everything allows us to have a consistent routine for leaving the home and also upon returning to it.

3. An entryway designed specifically for children provides a daily opportunity to practice the integral Montessori notion of attuning to the child’s need of  “help me help myself.”  When we do the least amount of work necessary to assist our children toward mastery (in tasks such as getting dressed, gathering school supplies, or returning personal items to their proper place), they gradually gain more and more independence and experience the joyof doing these things on their own.  

Without a designated space for preparing to leave, I end up being the crazy mother hen rushing around the house looking for items and pestering children to put their shoes on. When returning home from an outing, if there is not a place for everything (or if little family members are unaware of where everything goes), there ends up being a massive pile of clothing items and unsorted bags tossed just inside the door. I think this is especially difficult when living in a small space.

HOW TO MAKE THE ENTRYWAY

Steps

1. Assess your entryway space and make some notes of your set-up ideas. Some people have entire mudrooms, you may only have a tiny corner just inside your front door. We can make any situation work!

2. Make a list of what you need and gather your supplies. (Get a FREE printable checklist at the bottom of this post)

3. Set up the area rug, chair(s) and/or bench and/or sitting stool(s)

4. Designate a place for hanging outerwear and install hooks at an accessible height for your child(ren)

5. Designate a holding place (such as a basket or bin) for loose seasonal items (sunglasses, hats, mittens, etc.). I also like to keep a few small books for time waiting.

6. Designate a spot for shoes.  You can try a boot tray or a small rug, or even outline a box on your floor with washi tape. I was excited about trying out the washi tape but our 1.5 year-old kept gleefully peeling it up. We have a boot tray and hanging pockets for shoes just inside our front closet.

7. Consider hanging a mirror at an appropriate height

8. Add your own touch of beauty, such as art, greenery, labels, name tags, etc.

INTRODUCING THE SPACE TO YOUR CHILDREN

When introducing a new place and routine to our girls, I like to start by stating how we used to do things and then follow it by presenting our new approach.

Example Presentation to your Littles

1.  State how things used to be.

It could go something like this, with an upbeat voice:  “So Miss Mae and Lady Lou! I would like to show you some things… you know how we have been getting ready to leave the house before?  Mama gathers all the things and helps you get your coat and shoes on and carries your bags, and then puts everything away when we get home? Well we are going to do this a little bit differently now.”  

2. Give a tour around the space.

I might say, “Here is where the coats will go from now on.  Yours belongs on this hook, Miss Mae, and Lady Lou, yours goes here. Here is where you can find your shoes and where you can sit when you put your shoes on.  In this basket we keep your indoor booties and sunglasses and a little book to look at while you are waiting to leave.”

3. Model how to use the space.

“Now I am going to show you how we will use this area.  After my turn, we will do it together and then you will get to practice doing it all on your own.” Without using words, I would as best as I could (obviously may not fit in their chairs or wouldn’t be able to put on their clothing or shoes) walk through the steps of getting ready, “pretend leaving,” then return, and put all the items back where they belong.

4.  Use the space together and then allow the child(ren) to try on their own.

Go through the same steps of getting ready, “pretend leaving” and returning alongside your child, assisting when necessary and softly whispering prompts such as “the coat goes here” when they need a reminder.

HELPFUL TIPS

·     While assessing and creating your Montessori-inspired entryway, get down and see the space from your child’s perspective.  I like to just plop down on the floor and take it all in for a few minutes. From there I can see better things like distracting wall outlets or pokey edges that need taken care of.

·     Try to look around your home and use what you have before going out to purchase anything new. Is there an old stool not being used in the garage?  Left over command hooks from another house project? Some of your child’s artwork in a drawer that can be framed for a splash of color?

·     Check thrift stores for child-sized furniture.  I have found some really REALLY cute little benches at thrift stores, and I know of others who will simply saw down the legs of smaller chairs to make them just-the-right-size for their kiddos.

·     Allow some time for trial and error as you observe your child exploring and utilizing the space.  Maybe you decide the hooks would work better in another spot, or the mirror needs to be adjusted. Personally, I had to replace the chairs with more sturdy ones as the stools I initially used were so wobbly that the girls were nervous to use them.  After Maribelle kept yanking the picture frame down, I had to go back and add stronger command strips to the artwork, as well as replace our original command strip coat hooks with ones that could be mounted on the wall by screws.

·     Once you get into a groove, be as consistent as you can with the getting ready and returning steps.  Offer lots of patience and kind reminders. I have seen that our 3.5 year old responds better to statements of where things belong rather than commands, for example, “the backpack goes on the hook” rather than “put the backpack on the hook please.”  

Get your free DIY Montessori Entryway Checklist HERE

RESOURCES

I always encourage to first use what you have, then borrow or thrift or bargain shop if possible (if that is your thing), and then turn to Amazon for your materials. Here are some links to help with searching what works best for your family. ***I may earn a small commission for my recommendation links to amazon.  Your purchase helps support my work here at tpsm, thank you!***

Non-Slip Mats- similar ones here at amazon.com

Toddler chair set here at amazon.com

Chalkboard Hooks (Target dollar spot); White Hooks (Ikea), similar ones here andhere at amazon.com

Mini baskets (Target dollar spot), similar ones here on amazon.com

White Paint Marker from amazon.com

Tobit 8 Wedding Artwork by Dovetail Ink

FISKBO Frame with Plastic panel (Ikea)

SPF 50 Sunhats on amazon.com

Shoes- Similar moccasins here, similar sandals here on amazon.com

Rain Boots (thrifted) and Bogs on amazon.com

Child-friendly umbrellas on amazon.com

Toddler cat-eye sunglasses- similar ones here on amazon.com

Aquinas Kids board books here on amazon

Happy Placemaking!

Thanks for joining me here at the place she made and please share any of your helpful child-friendly entryway tips or resources in the comments below!

Love, Serra Ann

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Chickadees and rosy cheeks! Winter offers us so much beauty, yet the cabin fever can make that toughest hour of day with toddlers more challenging. Here you’ll find a simple plan and fresh ideas for surviving and thriving through winter at home with small children.

get through the toughest hour of the day with your toddler

Many parents call it “the witching hour,” that dreaded time of day when our little ones are usually feeling their worst and Momma is bordering on going bonkers.  Is it worse for you in the winter months too?  Today we are arming ourselves with some great go-to ideas on keeping your cool during those rough hours.

one of those days

I Started writing this post after one of these intense afternoons.  When I couldn’t get a hold of my husband, I called a trusted friend in tears and said, ”Honestly, I am losing it! I don’t know what to do.” After some comforting empathy, (cheers to having friends who are also therapists!), she suggested, ”well at this point, there’s always Chick-fil-A.”  Brilliant!  We don’t eat out much and that option did not even occur to me.  

Piling my daughters and myself in our little Honda Fit, I opted for the drive through experience, (what pleasant people at CFA!) and parked in front of our home for an early dinnertime, car-seat style.  As emotions were calming, I thought about how hard it is to problem-solve when we are overwhelmed.

A little bit later that evening, obviously still having some strong feelings about the matter, I typed out this reflection for some catharsis…

a cathartic reflection

It’s 5:30PM and the kids are losing it. I am more losing it. My HSP body has reached its max of stimulation for the day and now the whining and sibling aggression and random messes and the fact that the crockpot meal hasn’t cooked fully yet is all just putting me over the edge. 

 I HATE this place [of overwhelm]. I so earnestly want to be gentle and patient but I in actuality cannot, truly cannot answer another question or think of another snack or entertainment option to hold them over. Feeling mad that work is keeping him late again.  Then I think of all the mothers who don’t have someone coming home soon and am grateful for a second (ok, a half second because I’m still fuming) that my husband doesn’t travel often, etc. (annoyed eye roll)

Mostly, however, I’m frustrated that I’m depleted and overwhelmed again at this point in the day. How I really really really don’t want to be in this desperate holding place, just waiting for my relief pitcher. He is going to be tired too when he gets here, who wants to come home to this cloud of negativity?

My mind briefly flashes to an image of relaxed wifely me in a pretty apron, children waiting calmly (CALMLY DANGIT) at the table with just-the-right-level-of-warm food.  I showered earlier (yes!) and am wearing something besides exercise clothes. All the dishes are already washed because I don’t want them looming after bedtime routine… it would just be quite nice to have them out of the way so we could sit together for two seconds before we ourselves need to get some sleep.  Oh, if only the ironing was done too, all the clean laundry put away, children’s clothes and bags ready for the next morning.  A candle lit even! [end daydreaming]

Many days I really am ok with meeting less than those ridiculous expectations (are they that ridiculous, though? Maybe they’d be realistic one day?). I can be proud of my effort or just smile that there is dinner made… or that I just stopped running around doing so.many.things. and got down and readthe girls a book… and we end up having PB&J… OR that I did push through doing the last load of laundry and got them all folded.  

In this season of small children, though, every few weeks an overwhelming evening like this hits me without warning.I need some serious reserves or new ammo. I’m resolving right now to put together a “HEY, YOU CAN DO THIS” list for when the fight/flight/freeze response occurs within. No longer will I pine away at the slow minutes passing until that long-awaited text rings “leaving soon” or “omw” and at last the front door clicks relief of “DADDY’S HOME!”  I won’t be stewing with bitterness and ridiculous defensiveness that “I’m left to do it all alone again.”  

I’ll have a game plan.  

the time is now

I’m relieved to finally be gathering good ideas to equip us to approach this time of day confidently. Below I’m sharing my current collection with you in case they could help you in your hard hours.

Get a PDF version and our free list of winter activities HERE. We’ll also include blank templates so you can easily make a plan for your family’s “witching hour.”

our winter game plan

STAGE 1: PREVENTION

Do everything you can in the first place to to stay far from your breaking point

Complete evening preparations BEFORE afternoon rest time (for me, that is supper started, laundry in process, clothes and bags ready for tomorrow)

• TIP:a slow cooker is your best friend, make a crock-pot meal during lunchtime if you can
• TIP:when kids change out of school clothes, get tomorrow’s clean set ready for the morning
• TIP:clean out backpacks and lunchboxes right away

Establish a rest-time for everyone in your daily rhythm

• TIP: make sure YOU rest during rest time too (spiritual reading, a cup of tea, bath or shower, catnap, do something craftsy)
• TIP:do your resting self-care AS SOON AS family rest-time begins. If you just start to run around trying to get home care tasks done, or waste time scrolling instagram right away, your chance to “inhale” will be gone before you know it (inevitably a baby will wake and a toddler will need help in the bathroom, etc.)
• TIP:use earplugs to dull noises and to help restore your body to calm before the storm

Be prepared to be present

• TIP: as rest time comes to a close, put personal projects on hold, finish that podcast, resolve to be “all there”
• TIP: give yourself a pep talk or say a prayer before “releasing” the children from their rooms
• TIP: turn your phone on airplane mode and put it in a cabinet out-of-sight

STAGE 2: PLAN SOME GOOD FUN

Intentionally make it the norm to do simple, light-hearted activities to turn the toughest time of day to the favorite

Have a fun snack together

• TIP:Keep a list of fun snacks to reference when making your shopping list
• TIP:  Involve children as much as possible in the kitchen preparation.  They LOVE it. (I hope to do some posts on Montessori kitchen work at home!)
• TIP:Remember that non-desirable snacks make your three-year-old angry (see first tip in this section, ha!)

Go outside, go outside, GO OUTSIDE

• TIP: have clothing/gear for all kinds of weather, and have it accessible
• TIP:have a list of nearby nature spots so you can pick one quickly and go
• TIP:keep a nature table in the home where the children can observe little  collected artifacts and recall your adventures together

Choose sensory and/or gross motor activities 

• TIP: choose activities that will help your kiddos release energy and then sooth their bodies
• TIP: have a list of (mental or written) of your children’s favorite games (i.e. hopscotch, Simon says) as well as some new games to try
• TIP: have ideas for indoor play handy, when outdoors is not a possibility (get our free list here)

STAGE 3: JUST HANG IN THERE

When the anxiety starts rising, start thinking outside of the box so you can make it a little longer

Change up your routine

TIP:  do dinner early.  Sometimes everyone is simply hungry-angry and it helps to get a good meal in the bellies. We can sit down again when Daddy arrives and have fruit or dessert while he eats dinner.

TIP: take a quick trip for a change of scenery.  Go to the grocery and let the girls choose a random addition to dinner.  Go to the library and read a book to them in a different space.  Go to the chapel and whisper prayers and songs together.  

TIP: curb your “woe is me” thinking and go visit a neighbor.  Get out of yourself.  Ask them to tell you about their day or bring some of the girls’ latest coloring creations to give as a gift.

Have a back-up bin

• TIP: Thrift stores and Dollar Tree are your best friends for little books and toys.  Have a basket of random things that are sure to delight (i.e. silly puddy or a lizard that grows in water, etc.)
• TIP:Keep a few books aside from your recent library haul for moments when a new story would be an attention-grabber
• TIP: have a little stash of arts and crafts supplies like washable markers, scissors and glue, popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners, etc. and let them create

Facetime storytime

• TIP: Send grandparents or aunties funny books or have them pick up a few from a thrift store so they can have material for impromptu storytime.  
• TIP: If no books are handy, ask them to tell their own story.  Sometimes just a new smiling face with fresh energy and love for them helps everyone take a deep breath and step out of a cranky cloud.
• TIP: if no family or friends are available, let your little ones look at pictures and watch videos of themselves and loved ones

STAGE 4: GET HELP NOW

You’re officially overwhelmed, need to accept the emotions and reach out for support

Call a friend 

• TIP: call someone on speaker to help you stay calm and choose kind(er) words toward the girls
• TIP: vent or cry out the feelings and ask for a word of encouragement 
• TIP:ask a neighbor to give you a 15-20 minute break and go for a little walk

Put on a movie

• TIP: put on a happy show or movie for the girls, and then go do some deep breathing or progressive relaxation near the essential oil diffuser
• TIP: set a timer and speed clean something (my sister’s recommendation)
• TIP: listen to a relaxing playlist or uplifting podcast while the little ones are interested in the movie

Go for a drive

• TIP: again, change of scenery does wonders… announce you are going on an adventure together and explore a section of the town or city you’ve never visited
• TIP: scrap dinner plans and go to a local drive through, put on the radio!
• TIP: grab some munchies from home or a nearby gas station and go through its carwash

making it your own

Sign up HERE to get your Surviving and Thriving Through Winter bundle

• lists of go-to winter indoor and outdoor activities
• list of toddler winter snack ideas
• templates to make a game plan for your family
• PDF copy of our family’s game plan for reference

Finally, please share any of your go-to tips below!

With Sisterly Love, Serra Ann 

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